Cock and Bull Public House-Hyde Park

Do you remember back in the heyday of American Idol, Simon Cowell was quite forthcoming in his assessment of potential competitors? I specifically remember him telling one singer that he or she was “simply dreadful.” I’m sure that you know where I am headed with this.

Cock and Bull Public House has three locations, Covington’s Mainstrasse Village, Glendale, and Hyde Park. The convenient Hyde Park location is on Hyde Park Square, on the corner of Edwards and Erie. I had already eaten dinner this Tuesday when a friend asked me to play trivia with a group at Cock and Bull, but I didn’t let that stop me from going. All I could think about was the mile long draft beer list (confusingly organized by ABV and not by style) that always includes one of this Hoosier’s favorite brews, Three Floyds, the almost mythical microbrewery located in northwest Indiana in Munster. On this occasion, the featured Three Floyd’s was Gumballhead, a wheat ale. This happens to be my favorite, so the night started out on a high note. But alas, it was not meant to be.

We had seven in our party and there were several other large tables in the back room where the trivia game was being played. I counted 11 tables in total. General knowledge would dictate at least two servers, maybe three, dedicated to this section of the restaurant, especially since the remainder of the restaurant was deserted and the staff seemed to amble about aimlessly without a purpose. In the infinite wisdom of the management staff at Cock and Bull, there was one server in the entire room. ONE SERVER for eleven drunk, rowdy, trivia playing tables! I think we had to ask for water for several people at the table three times. But if subpar service was all that we had to complain about, the night would have gone well. Our appetizers, Bavarian Pretzels served with beer cheese dip, and Sweet Potato Fries served with maple aioli, both arrived after our entrees. The pretzels were hot and delicious as was the beer cheese, but the sweet potato fries were another story. They were barely lukewarm and freezer burnt to top it off. Everyone who ordered a main course seemed to be satisfied, if not thrilled with their entrees. This certainly beats the last time that I ate at Cock and Bull when an appetizer that looks to have disappeared from the menu was delivered to my table topped with raw ground beef. The one person in our party who ordered dessert chose the Black and Tan, chocolate and blondie brownie bites topped with caramel sauce and whipped cream. I don’t think that they would have even been passable to serve at TGIFridays. Freezer burnt (I sense a theme), dry and bland is the most flattering description that I can come up with. No wonder they were only $3.99. Maybe Simon Cowell could have put it more succinctly, “simply dreadful.” I know that the halo of “Hyde Park” makes a lot of things more passable than they should be, but I won’t be going back to Cock and Bull. Well, maybe for the Gumballhead.

Quatman Cafe

Last night, I stopped in at Quatman’s (as the locals call it) to grab a burger and a beer. Certainly most of you are asking yourself at least one, if not both of the following questions. What the hell is Quatman’s? And where the hell is Quatman’s? The second question is an easy one. Quatman’s is located at 2434 Quatman Avenue, of course. I can hear many of you saying right now, “I’ve never seen that street in Over the Rhine.” You may be shocked to know that Quatman’s is in Norwood. Real Norwood. Not the Hyde Park/Rookwood/Norwood area that eastsiders pretend is really Hyde Park so that they can justify shopping and/or eating there and telling their friends about it. I know that it may be difficult to believe, but I enjoy going to restaurants all across the Queen City (even a few that are west of I-75, but only when my West Side friends are gracious enough to unlock the gates at Queen City and Sunset and escort me in. But I digress. We will visit the West Side soon enough.) Quatman Avenue (and Quatman Café) are located about a mile north of the Norwood Lateral off of Montgomery Road, very close to Holy Trinity Catholic Church.

If the picture above this blog post looks as if it were taken in 1966, it very well could have been. Quatman’s opened in 1966 and from the looks of things, not much has changed in the interim. Red checked tablecloths set the mood and if you are lucky, the Xavier game will be playing on one of the large flat screen TV’s. Prepare for a few changes in the décor though. Construction is almost finished on a brand new space right next door that will feature outdoor seating as well. I’ve just recently discovered that there is also a location in Mason (a.k.a. No Man’s Land). The menu is tiny, but what’s on that menu is irrelevant. You are here for the burger. A burger that Cincinnati Magazine has called the best in the city upon more than one occasion. And who am I to argue with Cincinnati Magazine, at least in this instance. There are lots of great burgers in Cincinnati and I’m sure we could debate all day long which one is the best. But, you won’t hear me joining in that debate. It is very likely that in the course of this blog that I may never call something “the best”. What you will hear is me referring to something as “my favorite” and that’s what the Quatman’s burger is for me.

Let’s talk a little about this burger. It will arrive on the table with very little fanfare. The server will not ask you what temperature you prefer because they all come out of the kitchen reliably well-done. Not char grilled well-done, but certainly no pink. There will be no bacon, no grilled onions, no gorgonzola cheese, no salsa, no avocado. Nothing that might be perceived as gourmet or fancy. Up until just a few short years ago, the only options were a myriad assortment of deli style cheese, ketchup and mustard. As the server once told me “When you have good meat, you don’t have to decorate it.” And she is right. I’m a purist so I always order mine plain with just spicy pepper jack cheese, and that’s really all it needs. The burger is juicy without being greasy and comes with a side of fries that are hot and crispy and taste a little like what you remember McDonald’s fries tasting like when you were a child. (Were those fries really that tasty? Probably not, but don’t steal my childhood memory.)

Did I mention the pricing? If you come on a Monday, Thursday or Saturday, the Daily Special which consists of a Cheeseburger, Fries and a Drink, is only $6.58. Did you just gasp, because that is the appropriate response. Oh, and also, that drink can either be one of the zillion different kinds of pop that Quatman’s stocks in their cooler, or a cold draft beer. Last night the selection consisted of Christian Moerlein Helles, Yuengling Lager, Hudy Delight, Miller Lite and Coors Light, although some of the handles rotate occasionally. I’m pretty sure that I couldn’t eat at the aforementioned McDonald’s for that price, and the last time I checked, McDonald’s doesn’t serve beer.

Definitely make a point to check out Quatman’s. It won’t break the bank and you will be surprised how much better the burger is than the fast food that you are probably used to eating. Be sure to bring the kids too. They are probably going to love it as much as this 44 year old kid does.

Lachey’s Bar

I’ve visited Lachey’s Bar at 56 E. 12th St. in Over the Rhine twice since it opened to the general public on New Year’s Day, both on busy Friday nights.  Lachey’s is the highly anticipated sports bar/gastropub from Cincinnati natives Nick and Drew Lachey of 1990’s boyband 98 Degrees, and 4EG, the gurus behind Keystone Grill, Igby’s, The Lackman and several other popular bars and restaurants. The Lacheys bring the star power in the form of a reality show (currently filming) that will air on the A&E network in the spring and 4EG brings the marketing genius to this particular venture, both with great success. Lachey’s is the perfect venue in the perfect location at the perfect time.

Up to this point, the Over the Rhine restaurant scene has been known for its boutique sized restaurants with epic weekend wait times. Lachey’s Bar is a much larger venue and so far, they seem to have a handle on the crowds. Once your name is on the waitlist, not only will the staff text you when your table is ready, they also text you a link so that you may check your place in line. And to top it off, the 13 flat screen TV’s and giant tickers keep you on top of the latest sports scores, games and stories while you wait for your table.

On my first visit, which in the interest of full disclosure was on Lachey’s second day of business, I arrived around 6:00pm and put my name on the waitlist. I was dining with ten friends so I expected a long wait, however we were surprisingly seated by about 7:30. As we waited, I enjoyed a Bloody Mary. While it was a little less spicy than I prefer, it was definitely above average for a sports bar. Many of my friends ordered specialty cocktails from the drink menu as well. Of particular note were the Cincinnati Street Railway and the Counting Stars. Several wines are on draft (yes, wine!) as well as local brews including Rhinegeist and MadTree.

After we were seated in one of the large red banquettes under the windows facing 12th Street, we ordered food that took well over an hour to arrive. (On my second visit it arrived much more promptly.) The appetizers were exceptional, especially the Buffalo Chicken Dip served with Ritz crackers for dipping, and the Tater Tots, served in a choice of three varieties, jerked spice, bacon and cheese, or garlic parmesan. While my Bison Burger was not cooked to the temperature that I ordered, it was still delicious. The second time was perfection.

If I have one complaint, it is that the service staff even after my second visit, still seems disorganized and slightly less than knowledgeable about the menu and drinks. I would be remiss if I did not mention that a good friend of mine is employed at Lachey’s and she is a consummate professional. Hopefully her experience will rub off on some of the less well trained staff.

If you decide to visit Lachey’s (and I hope you do), please keep in mind that parking meters in Over the Rhine and Downtown are now in effect until 9 Monday through Saturday and from 2-9 on Sunday. The garages on the corner of Vine and 12th and Vine and Mercer are great places to park as well. As in any city setting, parking is not free, but it is extremely reasonable. (Approximately $1/hour at a meter, payable by credit card, slightly more for a garage.)

Regardless of some small kinks in the service, I am certain that I will return to Lachey’s Bar often. It is exactly what Over the Rhine has been waiting for.