Crap.

I could actually stop right now and that one word would be a fairly accurate representation of Longworth’s in Mt. Adams. But I have a few more things that I would like to get off of my chest. For starters, I’m almost certain that if I had stopped breathing in the middle of the floor of the bar, that the staff wouldn’t have bothered to step around my cold dead corpse, let alone bother to call 911. It was a chore to order food and even more of a chore to get a second beer. I might have some compassion if the bar were full, but we were one of only 2 tables.

The bar itself is a lesson in what happens when an owner rests on his laurels when times are good, not bothering with any upkeep or maintenance, let alone any updates to the décor or menu. If I were to describe Longworth’s as run down, that would actually be a compliment. Mt. Adams as an entertainment district is an idea whose time has come and gone, but Mt. Adams as a destination for dining is still a viable concept, if the food is good and the surroundings are at least passable. Neither of those concepts seem to mean a thing to the management at Longworth’s.

We arrived at Longworth’s on a steamy Sunday afternoon on the last day of the inaugural Cincinnati Burger Week, expecting to order something that resembled a decent hamburger. Their featured burger was supposed to be served with a spicy sauce and bacon, but the server told us that they were out of bacon (only when they brought the food to the table) and out of the seven of us, six ordered the special and most did not get any sauce, let alone the aforementioned bacon. And how hard is it to screw up French fries? I guess it is easier than I thought since everyone who ordered fries almost universally proclaimed in unison “These fries are nasty.” I can’t think of a more apt description myself. Look, if you are going to participate in burger week, serve a f***ing burger. Its not that hard. Shout out to many of the other participants, especially Nation and Hangover Easy for taking Burger Week seriously as a marketing tool to build business.

I am guessing that if Longworth’s isn’t already on life support, it will be soon.  I think I even saw the Grim Reaper lurking in the sticky, dark back hallway myself.